Joy

Every move a dancer takes,
Every key a pianist hits,
Every plunge a diver takes,
Every letter a writer types,
Every note a singer belts,
Every preacher's word,
Every beat of the drum,
Every photo shot,
Every cellist's bow,
Every hymn sung,
Every stitch sewn,
Every breath.

What do all these people have in common?
Passion.
Joy in what they do.

I've been into Peter Bence's videos recently.

The joy on his face,
The passion that radiates throughout his body,
You can feel it even from off the screen.

When you do something you love,
There is a difference,
To yourself,
To others.

It varies from person to person,
But we all have something called an EQ,
And that is what makes you want to sing when your favourite song is playing on the radio,
What makes you shake when your favourite tune is heard,
What makes you smile when you see someone else's joy.

And when you don't have that joy radiating through your body,
People just know it.
They see through your facade.

They may not be able to tell from your face,
From your words,
But there will be something that tells them something is amiss.

I've not been happy for quite some time.
I've lost my joy.
I've lost my passion.
And recently, I lost my love.

I see these people on youtube and I wonder,
Why can't I be like them?
There must be something I do to have that joy radiating within me.

They say do what you love, and the money will follow.
I think that is the exception, not the rule.

Most people will either be happy contented with their daily jobs,
They earn money that will support their needs and wants,
But are they achieving their potential?
Maybe, if your purpose is to provide and that makes you happy.

In today's world,
A world where most content is free,
Stars are born from youtube and not talent hunters,
Writers are born from bloggers,
Starbucks is no longer the standard for coffee,
Anything is possible.
But I also still see fate playing a hand in most of this.

You can be the best, but if you are undiscovered,
You remain a potential,
A what-if.

So what can you do?
Put yourself out there as much as possible.
Just keep trying.
If you're doing this out of passion,
You will not burn out,
You will not lose interest,
You will keep going because you love it,
Because that is what puts a smile on your face,
The joy that radiates through your body,
The joy that you cannot keep within your body will combust and shine for the world to see.

I am an idealist.
A big one.
My head is forever in the clouds,
There is nothing that can ground me,
Well, I was (more than) grounded for 6 years,
I was contented but I was not happy.
There was no joy radiating,
Just an engine running.

And that is why,
I want to be the exception and not the rule.

Thinking back of all the things I am good at,
And I'm going to try them all,
Until I get one that hits,
Or maybe all,

Writer
From a young age, people have told me that I have a gift with words (on paper, not so much verbally). I have "potential". Through the years, I slowly forgot this talent, only putting it to use when I need to craft emails, but even then, it was not out of passion. And this is my forum to get it back again. I don't think I've lost it, because a very senior person read something I wrote 2 years back and still thought that it was exceptional.

That's the other thing I figured,
If it is your true calling,
Your purpose,
Your passion,
It will not feel forced.
Just like how I'm typing this out.
The words and ideas are just flowing.
I can't stop them,
In fact there are so many I can't keep track of all of them!!!

Pioneer
I was always the pioneer amongst my peers, whether it was going to a certain college, doing things a certain way, trying something new, I was always at the forefront. And I always loved being the first. I'm not afraid to try, to venture into the unknown, in fact I LOVE it. I don't know what I'm supposed to pioneer in, but I know that it's something I should also pursue.

Fashion
People are always drawn to my clothes, my sense of style. Something that I would also want to try to monetize. I don't think I'm like the next Vera Wang, or Alexander McQueen, but again, this is the internet world. Who knows where this might lead.

As cheesy as it may sound, while all my friends are settling down and raising a family, I feel like this is the prime time for me to chase my dreams and build my career, whatever it may be. Something has to give, and that would be family. I think there will be a time where I will prioritise family, but maybe not now.

For now, I just want to find the reason for my every breath.