There are normal days when i feel meh

And then there are days when i feel down for no apparent reason. Most of my struggles are work related. What does one do with one's destiny when one was not made for the corporate culture? Part of me wants to leave and live the free soul life that I am; part of me is holding on to the career I've so (literally) painfully built, even though it feels like it's all gone crumbling down and I'm now stuck in a pile of rubble. Like cocaine; I know it's bad for me and yet I'm addicted to it.